Inner Excellence Author Jim Murphy

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Transcript Peter Mallouk- Jim Murphy

Peter Mallouk (00:08.278)

I'm Peter Mallouk. I'm here with Jim Murphy, the author of Inner Excellence and Pro Athlete. I've been really looking forward to this one. Jim, thanks for joining me.

Jim Murphy (00:17.573)

Thanks for having me, Peter.

Peter Mallouk (00:19.126)

Now at thirty six you gave away most of what you owned, packed up and moved alone out to the Arizona desert. I figured that's as good an opener as we're gonna get here. Tell me more about that.

Jim Murphy (00:30.769)

Yeah, my whole life I've obsessed about being a superstar. And you know, when I was little, to me, the best possible life was a life where you hit home runs and everyone loved you and every guy wanted to be you and every girl wanted to be with you and you made a lot of money and rich and famous. And I thought that was the best possible life. And I thought that was gonna be my life. And so getting drafted by the Chicago Cubs was a dream come true. But I got injured and I had to retire and it was devastating. And my

Career as a minor leaguer, five years in the minor leagues, was was really stressful, lonely. I didn't know what was happening. Why is my dream falling apart? And I struggled with vision problems and as a pro athlete. And so leaving for the desert was, you know, I worked for Federal Express. I coached the high school baseball team, I coached with the Texas Rangers briefly, and I just didn't know what I wanted to do. I wanted to find something that I could.

devote my life to and I left the desert to go figure that out.

Peter Mallouk (01:34.968)

What was the what was the first week like? I mean like at what point does it get strange?

Jim Murphy (01:40.731)

So that first week, I did know three people there. There's my former teammate, Ricky Scruggs and his wife, and another friend, Rosalind. but my plan was to really limit the social life and and come face to face with my with my thoughts and and to figure out find something that I can devote my life to, something that I was willing to live and die for. And the most memorable thing that I think kind of depicts my life at the time, it wasn't like I was living in a teepee. I I I lived in a

well, I did live in the baseball academy for a few months, which was had no showers, so I would shower at the gym. but other than that, it was a fairly typical life. I just was really living a life of solitude and going to the coffee shop, spending a lot of time there and journaling and things like that. But the thing that I think that kind of reminds me of that time most is is New Year's Eve. It was my first or second New Year's Eve, and I was alone in an empty house and I and I hear a noise, so I step outside to see what the noise was.

And I see fireworks and that was the first time I knew it was December thirty first. So every day was pretty much the same. So Sundays I would go to church, but Sunday night, Monday night, Friday night was all the same to me.

Peter Mallouk (02:50.817)

And and you're spending years out there in your book you talk about, you're trying to solve for a lot of things, but that one question kept coming top of mind. Like you're like, how does someone train, train, train, train, train for years, just to have sixty seconds, you know, to per to make a performance happen without and y and you're thinking about like how do I take all that prep and make sure that things don't fall apart? Did you ever get an answer to that question?

Jim Murphy (03:15.351)

yeah, for sure. I I that was the definitely the main question that I had. I wanted to write the best book ever written on mental toughness. That was my goal. And so the question I would pose to sports psychologists all over North America was how can an Olympic athlete train for four years for an event that may last less than a minute? and similarly, how can a major league based all player in game seven of the World Series, bottom of the ninth, full count, bases loaded, two outs, down by one?

How could that guy have peace and confidence? And I just really didn't give any answers that I thought were suitable. And so I called another psychologist and another and another. And then I spent five years full-time researching and and writing about the the solution. And there's two things that I really found. One was that your heart, your I I I call your heart, your spirit, your soul, your will. I use all those interchangeably.

the part where your greatest fears are and and greatest dreams are, that that's your control center. And so that's the first thing I learned is that that's what's running your life and that's what we need to train. And the second thing is that the second big thing is that people don't want to win gold medals and be and have millions of dollars and be World Series champions per se. They want what they think it will bring them. And

The what they think it's gonna bring them, what I've always thought it was gonna bring me is the best possible life, a life where I have amazing experiences and incredible relationships, where I'm learning and growing and feeling fully alive. And I realize now that that's what I've always wanted is to feel fully alive. I just thought the best life was how I was gonna be, was my plan for it. And

So the training, the thing that I I realized is that the training for the best possible life, that life I just shared with you, and the training to have the most peace and confidence under the most pressure is the same training. That changed my life.

Peter Mallouk (05:19.531)

And and you I mean, you you had a professional career, you played for the Cubs, it didn't evolve the way you anticipated. how did all of that impact you and this thinking that you th this mission that you went on that eventually re resulted in the book?

Jim Murphy (05:37.174)

Well, I you know, I was so obsessed with being a star. it was everything to me. And so that whole pursuit was, you know, when when something that is it becomes your identity and it's and there's so much of it out of your control, it becomes a very unstable and stressful way to live. And that's what my life was like. And I think so many people's lives are like.

And so now I share and what I call the three worlds model that helps people understand that we live in three worlds simultaneously. There's the world of results and circumstances that we've all obsessed about, especially high achievers and and people that are are real go-getters. They're obsessed about this world, the world that I call the third world, results and circumstances. But the problem with that world is is there's far too much out of your control. And it's the world of the past and future.

And you don't even know what's best for you. Like you could Scotty Scheffler just just won the the latest PGA tour event. Was that a good thing for him? No idea. We know that he wanted to, and we know that Teddy Scott wanted him to win his caddy and all the fans. But was it even a good thing? Who knows? We know what we want, but we don't know what's best for us.

Peter Mallouk (06:59.531)

you know, so you so you're in the desert, you're writing this book, you've got all these thoughts that we've talked about. you go $90,000 in debt, you're you have a breakdown along the way, you release the book in 2009, doesn't do very well. I mean, here we're going for 15 years, it's not performing as you want. Tell me about that part of the journey.

Jim Murphy (07:22.132)

Yeah, so it wasn't performing as I wanted in two respects. One, my goal was to be a New York Times bestselling author. And so for 16 years that did not happen, not even close. And the other thing with the main thing I wanted was to use it f as a manual for clients that they could use to have peace and confidence under pressure and and

And perform extraordinarily, and also to be a way that people could read about the work I do and share it with with other people. And so for that it was working great. The the funny thing is, or a kind of interesting thing is in 2023 and 24, I went to, I think it was 22 countries. And then in 2025, when AJ Brown read the book and my life changed January 12th of 2025.

Since then I've only been to a couple of countries because because of all my time in the US.

Peter Mallouk (08:19.277)

I mean, our so a lot of our listeners might not know this. So the book's not doing well. You're struggling. You're discouraged. AJ, who you just referenced, is an NFL receiver. He's on the sidelines. He's holding your book, reading your book, and then just boom. I mean, like everywhere, all over social media. How long from that moment to you finding out? And how long from you finding out to everything changing for you?

Jim Murphy (08:44.226)

Yeah, it was moments. I was in Dallas, Texas to lead an inter excellence retreat. I got there several days early and it to see other clients, but it didn't work out to see them. So I was like, God, what am I doing here early by myself in in Dallas? And of course I didn't know what was about to happen. And so on January 12th, I'm walking around downtown Dallas and it was a very somber time for me.

Mom was dying. She died four days later. And it was an answer to prayer though. She was she had a good life and she was suffering. but that was was somber. And then business was kind of slow. I actually didn't pay off my credit cards for the first time in in many years, each that month of January. And it was kind of lonely. And I'm walking around Dallas and trying to think about my life and

And I get back to my hotel room and I'm watching the a bowl game that had already happened on my laptop. And then I look at my phone, I see all these texts, and I I thought, mom must have died. And then obviously the f the text said you need to turn on the Packers, Eagles wildcard game. And so I turn it on and I see them zoom in on the book, and Kevin Birk Burkhardt and and Tom Brady are talking about it. And I was like, Wow, this is I think significant and you know, right after that it was just

Pretty crazy.

Peter Mallouk (10:07.917)

I you kinda think this is pretty cool, but c did you imagine? I mean, what was gonna happen from there?

Jim Murphy (10:13.931)

No, I I had no idea. I I it's it's like winning the lottery, except for the differences. you know, I spent a lifetime putting this together. And I had on my phone an affirmation that I'm a New York Chinese best selling author for several years and I ended up taking it off after a couple of years. so it was yeah, it was it's really hard to explain. Like the th after the second or third night, my I woke up at three A and my heart was racing.

And I had that week I had flew to that following week I flew to Philadelphia to go go to the Eagles game and AJ Brown and Mora Jomo both got me tickets. And I was in downtown Philadelphia and this guy asked me for money and I and I looked at my wallet and had no money. So I said, hold on, let me go get you some money. And I went to the ATM to get him some money and I tried to get three hundred dollars out and it said insufficient funds.

200 insufficient funds, 100, I get the money, find the guy, and the next day my checking account goes to the negative. My mortgage payment bounces and it goes to the negative, which it also hadn't happened in years. now I had money in in investments and stuff, but I just wasn't paying attention. So but that was kind of like the how my finances were in that moment. And so we sold a hundred thousand copies that week. We in the sixteen years, I think it's so you know, the publisher

Peter Mallouk (11:12.19)

Yeah.

Peter Mallouk (11:36.885)

Incredible.

Jim Murphy (11:40.864)

referred to the rights back to me. So kind of give up on it. and I'm my guess is I never tracked it, but my guess is we've sold probably eight or nine thousand in sixteen years. And so yeah, it was a crazy week.

Peter Mallouk (11:53.048)

Man, that publisher is kicking themselves now. They revert that's the greatest thing that happened to you is that they gave up on you and reverted the rights back to you. That's amazing. now my favorite part of your book is you say that we're all chasing palms and you break that down possessions, achievements, looks, money, status. But that you know, you write that that's like chasing the wind. And that that discovery really kind of changed the way you think about life. So tell me a little bit about that.

Jim Murphy (11:58.165)

Mm-hmm.

Jim Murphy (12:20.257)

Yeah, so I was sharing with you the the three worlds model. This the third world of results and circumstances, that's the world of the palms, possessions, achievements, looks, money, and status. And palms, if you look in the Webster's dictionary, you'll see that one of the meanings of of palms is is symbols of of victory, but also that it's an illusion, which is so true. And I say it's an illusion, not that those are bad things.

What ha the the problem is that on our heart gets attached to what we want and can't fully control and doesn't bring us what we deeply want because we're all we're all created for relationship and and our deepest need is for love, unconditional love. And those are that's false love when you get those things because as soon as you lose it, then the love's gone. You know, as soon as you stop hitting home runs, or you s if you start dropping balls in the end zone, those cheers turn into booze.

And that's so it's a false piece. And so as humans, we what we want so badly is is unconditional love. That's not conditional on on how we perform or things that we say or do. That's our deepest need and our greatest fear is is rejection of that love. And so the three worlds model quickly is the third world results and circumstances, second world is your inner world and the actions that follow. And the first world is the invisible world that that controls the world that we can see, touch and feel.

Peter Mallouk (13:39.831)

So you're a big believer th and I am too. The heart decides, the mind follows. Everyone says they're working on their mind, but really your heart's gonna lead the way, you know, y and then you just use your mind to justify whatever it tells you to do, right?

Jim Murphy (13:53.022)

Yeah, the heart working the sub with the subconscious is is the control center of the person. And the mind is so powerful and super important, but we use the mind to train the heart. It's you can think of it as the mind sits on the foundation of your heart. And if your heart is heavy, it's really hard to have a clear mind. With Inter Excellence, we we have four daily goals.

And it's under this the umbrella goal of learning and growing, and especially in love, wisdom, and courage every single day. And the four goals are are to give the one is to give the best of what you have today, two is to be present, three is to be grateful, and four is to focus on your routines and only what you can control. And the reason we do all these things is because for you to be your best in any field is to is to be fully engaged, heart, mind, and body, and what I call world two, the present moment, your thoughts and actions.

And but most of us and most of my life has has been spent obsessing about the third world of results and circumstances. While I'm in world two trying to perform, my heart and mind is in world three and the world of the past and future. And so inter excellence is about teaching people how to be fully engaged in the moment and attached to what they're trying to do that they don't even know if it's good for them.

Peter Mallouk (15:07.519)

So it's interesting you it's basically you got a little Buddhism in it, right? Like a little bit of get unattached to the achievements and the goals and all of those types of things and and pull yourself back into the moment.

Jim Murphy (15:19.421)

What's funny, Peter Mallouk, is is I was flipping through the Bhagavad Gita this year and I was like, my gosh, this is like inner excellence. Who wrote this thing? And then and so I yeah, I I obviously I I had kind of went through it many years ago when I was writing the book and and so a lot of Eastern philosophy has is has deeply impacted me.

Peter Mallouk (15:26.189)

Different version.

Peter Mallouk (15:41.473)

Y you talk a lot about things that get people into trouble and and the one you put at the top of the list is confidence. and how that leads to people making some pretty big mistakes.

Jim Murphy (15:53.051)

Yeah, confidence is is what what most people come to me for or very commonly come to me for if they're underperforming. And confidence is is very helpful and it's a it's a great thing. But it also can be one misleading. Like you can you can be very confident and perform very poorly and you can be very careless. There's two things that are that I think are a lot more powerful than confidence, and one is belief and the other is presence. And

Confidence is is really the feeling that I can do this thing, whatever I'm trying to do. Belief is no matter what I'm trying to do, I'm gonna be okay. No matter what happens right now with what I say next or how I perform, it's all good. It's all gonna work out for me. That's belief. Way more powerful. And presence is like a cheat code. Belief is I can do things. Jim Murphy Murphy can do things, Peter Mallouk can do things. That's belief.

But presence, you can, if you're fully present, there's no fear, there's no attachment, there's no past or future concern. And in if you're when you're fully present, there's a whole range of things that are possible that you may not even believe are possible.

Peter Mallouk (17:10.797)

How so you write this book, you've thought about this in the desert, it it's you know fifteen years before it breaks out, now it's been a few years since then. How good are you at this? Like at all the stuff you've written about, like it's all stuff you have to constantly work on. How f how far are you getting better every year? Is it not linear and there are setbacks?

Jim Murphy (17:27.897)

Yeah.

Jim Murphy (17:33.614)

Well, I'll give you a good example. I've spent a lot of time with with the best golfers in the world and the best swing coaches in the world. And I golfed last week in Calgary twice with for an inter excellence golf retreat. And so with the amount of time that I spent with those players and those coaches, you would think that I would be a pretty good golfer by now. And so unfortunately it hasn't really transferred over as as as I would hoped with my golf game.

with inter excellence, it's something that that you know, I want to live every single day. And and I know that my biggest problem is self-centeredness and that it leads to fear. And yet, am I good at inter excellence? I don't know. I I want to be.

Peter Mallouk (18:21.974)

And you're doing a lot of training on it. Like are you just I know your businesses bring you in and at teams bring you in. Like where are you spending most of your time trying to help people with this?

Jim Murphy (18:34.852)

Yeah, now so life's a lot different more than before January twelfth of a year and a half ago. Now I do more keynotes and workshops and retreats. Before I was doing those things, but not near as many keynotes or workshops and more one on one coaching in those when I went to the twenty two countries, that was mostly one on one coaching and some corporate retreats. And so

Peter Mallouk (18:41.943)

Mm-hmm.

Jim Murphy (19:00.893)

less one on one coaching, but but I still do one on one coaching. It's just in a in in a three day retreat.

Peter Mallouk (19:06.446)

And so if if I'm an athlete, I'm trying to take this and make it practical, or a business person athlete because that's your background and and kind of what broke the book out. What's the core message to them? Is it, hey, you're focused on achievement and and the next the the next record and your paycheck and how how you look on social media, but instead focus on the moment? I mean, what is the actual core message to them, the takeaway that you want them to get when they read the book?

Jim Murphy (19:33.76)

Yeah, mo vast majority of people their their goals are way too low. even if your goal is to be CEO of Google or be a billionaire or be world number one, like what's that gonna give you? You might you might get those things and work, you know, seventy hours a week and finally get it and be suicidal. Michael Phelps, twenty three Olympic gold medals afterwards suicidal. Is that wh the life you want to live?

Peter Mallouk (20:00.674)

To get the wrong goal, people have the wrong goal, no matter

Jim Murphy (20:03.624)

Yeah. The the much more power so what I do is I help them see, yeah, I know that you wanna be world number one and I can help you do that. In fact this this system is is I think the best in the world for helping people perform better than they've ever performed. And yet what the way we do it is is I help them pursue fullness of life.

Peter Mallouk (20:22.266)

And so you're on icons and ideas, so I'm gonna end with these two questions around that. Has there been an icon or a mentor or someone that you in in person or online have followed that you really look up to and inspire some of your thinking or how you became you?

Jim Murphy (20:37.908)

yeah. Yeah. I mean, most everything that I share with people is is very little bit is my own thoughts and just really sharing what I've learned from other people. like Shane Claiborne, for example. He's he's a role model hero of mine in Philadelphia, moved in with the inner city and moved in it it doesn't just write a check, he moved in there to and you know what that's what compassion is. Compassion literally means to suffer with. And so you join in people that are in need and and that's what he did. So

He's someone that I really look up to.

Peter Mallouk (21:09.484)

And then have you had an idea that that got away or an idea that you want to make sure our listeners hear from you?

Jim Murphy (21:19.559)

You know, I think what most people don't realize is is they have a like a single story for their life, and that story involves good results and circumstances. And there is a power in the universe that throws sparkles on the ocean and sways the trees and twinkles the stars.

There's this energy, this positive energy that's available to every single one of us. and for most of my life I've tried to, it's like trying to force a a square peg into a round hole. and now what I really try to do is is connect with that energy. And that energy is to me is best described as love. And when fear is completely gone, self-centeredness leads to fear. When you're completely selfless, then you're fearless. And so

But it's really hard. It's not our nature. It's not human nature to be selfless. we we try to build up our enough security and and comfort and things so we can have a great life, but it really becomes walls that imprison us. And so surrendering your life to this greater power is is important for every single person, no matter what you believe about philosophy or or religion or anything like that.

Peter Mallouk (22:44.333)

So you're saying someone who says, hey, my goal isn't to be number one at this or make the most money at that or get the most followers online. You're saying remove it from being about you and these achievements. What you really want is inner peace, you want inner excellence, you want that's the real goal you're after in the first place, and you get that.

by giving those things up and surrounding yourself to you said earlier, love and now like to someone like me, you'd be talking about God or just something else, but more than something greater than you.

Jim Murphy (23:20.04)

Yeah, I mean, if you talk to Nelly Corda and Scotty Scheffler, two of the greatest golfers in the world, what are they gonna tell you? Like, like what makes them feel most alive? Is it having a really nice car? You know, they're not gonna say that.

Peter Mallouk (23:38.359)

Yeah, maybe maybe maybe for the first couple of weeks. They'll say they'll say that, but after that I agree. Right.

Jim Murphy (23:43.418)

Yeah, it's like being retired. You know, once if you if say, because people come to me and they and I ask them what do you want most, because I think of my role is I help people clarify what they want most and I help them get it. And people don't think far enough and deep enough. And so I think what most people think they want most is the ability to have complete freedom to make whatever choices they want, go wherever they want, whenever they want, et cetera. But but I think that's an illusion. I think a mistake. Once they get that, they realize that actually I'm still empty.

What they really want is to be connected to a powerful vision, to have a purpose beyond themselves where they're making a difference in the world. And the only way that you can really feel the most alive. And I think of most that fullness of life directly connected to joy and glory. I think of those three words so similar. It's through sacrificial love. When you devote your life to a purpose beyond yourself, that's when you feel most alive.

Peter Mallouk (24:40.941)

I think that's a perfect note to end on, Jim Murphy. I've seen you live. It was even better here. one on one. Really appreciate you taking the time.

Jim Murphy (24:48.335)

Thanks so much, Peter Mallouk. I appreciate you.

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